It turned out Ishiar wasn't the only one who thought Cassandra looked unusually haggard. When they finally emerged from the darkness of the forest and returned to the Starslicer, it was clear to all that she had had the living shit kicked out of her. Her hair was a tangled mess, her face haggard, her armor dinged and slashed open in places. There was even dried blood soaked into the clothes underneath--blood that looked like it might have actually been her own. Ishiar didn't look all that much better; what little she had been wearing was gone, crossbow wounds dotted her like freckles, and her skin looked like she had been submerged in blood and then washed off with bile. But of the two, only Cassandra looked genuinely beaten. Though Ishiar bore far worse injuries, Cassandra's face was far more grave.

She didn't look at anyone as she walked up the landing ramp. She almost flinched when Annelique ran up to hug her, gushing with gratitude that they were both safe (or at least still alive). If Cassandra heard any of it, she didn't make any sign.

Annelique didn't pay it much heed at first; she had gotten used to the fact that Cassandra tended to swing between wildly flamboyant and dourly maudlin. But then she realized something--though it had happened often enough that it felt like she did it at random, it had never actually *been* random.Though she had seen Cassandra in plenty of dark moods, it was always because something terrible had happened.

She stopped in the middle of hugging Ishiar, suddenly feeling like she had been stabbed with an icicle. Again.

Unlike Cassandra, Ishiar was paying enough attention to notice when Annelique's body suddenly went stiff as a board.

"...What? What's wrong?" she asked.

"Whh--...wh-where did you get that?" she stammered. She was staring at the Ironbelly pendant hanging from Liliandra's hand.

"G-..." Annelique choked, taking an awkward step back. "Gairanda's...where did you get that?"

Ishiar looked tellingly into the forest behind her. "We lost her, Annie."

Annelique's fingers started to twitch. She clamped down on her mind and tried to stop the thoughts before they started--the horrible thoughts that screamed no, no more, not another one, not again...

It felt like the icicle had grown spikes and started twisting.

"*Sgk*"--Annelique choked again, to her own embarassment. "I..."

She blanched.

"I think I need to sit down."

With a thud, she collapsed to the deck and fainted.

******

Some hours later--when Annelique had been consoled somewhat with lots of blankets and an emergency hot chocolate supply that Blast had found God knows where--she sat down with Ishiar in the ship's galley to get the explanation she dreaded receiving.

"Apparently they reacted badly when they realized you weren't about to walk into their trap..." Ishiar said. "They couldn't handle Cassandra, so they tried to make her surrender by threatening to eat Gairanda." She looked wistfully down at the table. "What they didn't realize was Cassandra doesn't lose. And apparently she doesn't surrender either. Neither did Gairanda...as for me, I got ambushed and eaten by a couple of Orchid snipers. Cassandra eventually showed up and yanked me out, but by then, all the action was over."

"So you weren't there when Gairanda got eaten?"

"No...and it took like twenty minutes *after* Cassandra rescued me before she'd even tell me that's what happened."

"Why?"

"She's not used to losing," Ishiar replied. Her expression changed to one of chagrin. "Apparently we don't have much in common that way."

"What?"

"The whole 'never losing' thing. She's a normal human and fought off their entire ambush force. I'm some sort of demigod and got ganked by their *scouts.* Not exactly a stellar performance."

"Oh. Well..." Annelique trailed off.

"I know you want to say something nice, Annie, but don't worry, I'm not about to have a breakdown," Ishiar said. "To be honest, the things that are bothering me about that fight are quite the opposite. For one thing, I was attacking by punching *trees* at them. That's not normal."

"I know...I'm noticing it too..." Annelique said. She stopped, pensively considering something. "I've been wondering...what about Sudvana? Does she still have this?"

"You kept it after being horribly killed," Ishiar said. "Then again, you were in Brightwind...I'm not sure. B--" she stopped.

"What?"

"Actually, you remember that demon lady? The one who told us we had the marks in the first place?"

"Oh, Charlotte? Of course."

"She counted them before. She could probably tell us if there are still four marks or only three."

"Eternity said there would only be three of us..."

"Is that what she meant?"

"Um...probably?"

"Probably doesn't fill me with confidence."

"Me neither..."

There was a momentary silence.

"So...you seemed pretty mad at Cassie when you left. Was it because you thought she was going to give me to them?"

"At least," Ishiar said. "But I'm starting to think I might actually be the bitch in this equation...since all she would have had to do to get rid of me was nothing at all. If she had managed to bring Gairanda back with her, I might have even been willing to say I trust her. To a very limited degree."

"Gairanda told me never to get involved with her..." Annelique said. "But--"

"But you're you."

"...Yeah."

"It's amazing how different you are from Latella."

"Really?" Annelique blushed--she wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not.

"Seriously. I mean, I loved Latella and all--er, you, when you were Latella--but with personalities it's like night and day. Latella never even hugged anybody. She was the nice but aloof type. Never really touchy-feely."

"Why not?"

"You're asking *me?*" Ishiar laughed a little. "It wasn't that big of a thing. She wasn't frigid or anything. She just didn't...she didn't really throw her love at people like you do. I don't think that's a bad thing--loving people, I mean--but it's just odd when I think about how you're so different that way. As for why, all I ever heard was that she had a lover a little too soon in her life who died a little too quickly. It didn't wreck her life or anything, but it made her a bit more...well, less eager."

"She was hurt?"

"Yeah, but it didn't work like it seems to with you. That's another thing...I've never seen anyone react so strongly to things as you do. I've never seen anyone who is hurt so much by death. Most girls can shake it off...they don't necessarily like it, but it's a natural thing, and it's not like they won't come back. It's just that they'll be a slightly different person when they do."

Annelique felt a tingling and thought back for a moment. She had only remembered her life as Latella once Klayer had rather brutally reminded her of it, and those memories were hazy at best...but Ishiar was right. Sitting there, unnoticed, unacknowledged, but nonetheless plain as day, was the memory of her first lover. Ishiar was not exaggerating..."a little too soon" meant "within an hour of hatching." A hundred feet from where her egg opened up she had met Grace, a friendly girl with bright green hair. She was cheerful, affectionate and outgoing, impulsive in her own kindness but still patient with others. She had earned the friendship of practically everyone in the village; Latella became something of a minor celebrity simply by becoming her girlfriend.

She died two days later.

It shook Latella a bit, but she wasn't so worried about having lost her--though she still held great affection for her, she didn't feel any particular sadness, nor did she expect Grace would have wanted her to. But it did concern her. She had only known Grace for two days. Who's to say losing a long-time lover would be the same? It may hurt a hell of a lot more. She had been shown, rather abruptly, that any lover could be snatched away with no warning at any time. After that, she had always been a little hesitant to foster any relationships. She had a few dalliances, but she never felt the desire to take, hold, follow and ultimately love someone the way she had wanted to with Grace; unconditionally, unswervingly, and with the intention of doing so until one of them died.

That was indeed very different...to Annelique, the concept of limiting your own love seemed almost childish, the kind of mistake you might expect an engineer to make when she's never had a teacher or a textbook, jamming screwdrivers in the wrong places simply because no one had ever shown them a better way.

When she thought back to her brief experience with Grace, she couldn't help but see a little of herself as she was now; the arms always eager to hold, the eyes always shining with love and joy. She hoped that she inspired at least a few of the same feelings Grace did.

Ishiar was right. She was different from Latella. To Annelique, the fact that you could lose anyone at any time made it all the more crucial that she love everyone she came across.

She wished she had shown her love to Gairanda.

That had been a mistake. But she wasn't going to let that happen again.

Making a quick mental list, she headed below decks to pay some special visits. She wasn't going to let anyone she loved remain ignorant of the fact. Or vague. Or anything other than blazingly obvious.

Because for all she knew, she'd never get another chance.

******

Four hours later, in an out of the way cabin in a quiet corner of the Starslicer, laid three people in what they previously would have considered a very strange set of circumstances. Ralier was splayed out on the floor, her front leaning against the foot of a large bed, resting her head on top of it. Sprawled across Ralier's backside, with Ralier's bra draped across her head, was Winny Daren. She was clothed, but sloppily; it was clear she had only made a half-assed effort of pulling her dress back on before collapsing onto Ralier's back. She wasn't wearing anything underneath it. This was made obvious by the fact that about two dozen small belts, pouches, daggers, guns, charms and assorted small doodads--normally concealed beneath Winny's dress--were scattered haphazardly all across the room. Between this random scattering of items laid Ishiar's tail, which wound it's way around the bed, along the floor, into the closet, back onto the bed again, and finally ended in a drawer in a nearby night table. Ishiar herself was face down on the bed, a pillow covering half of her back, her posture similar to what you'd expect of a person who had been hit by a train several times. Her mouth and eyes were both open by only a sliver, and a tiny puddle of drool had started soaking into the bed beneath her.

Her foggy-eyed stare was the only sign that she was even conscious at this point. Ralier and Winny, however, had just started to have a cordial conversation with each other for the first time in their lives, thanks to a shared interest neither of them realized they had: wild, rampaging sex with Annelique.

"That...whoa. That...I don't even know what that was," Winny said slowly, her head and body not moving in the least. "I have never been so...*intensely liked*...by anyone in my entire life."

"I know what you mean..." Ralier replied. "I'm the one with paralytic honey and even I can't move."

"Where did she learn to do that...?" Winny said. "Does Brightwind have, like, a 'Fuck Camp' or something?"

"I dunno, but wherever she learned it, I wanna move there," Ralier said.

"Me too. Who'd have thought it, too? I mean, it's Annelique...for a second, I seriously thought that she was a spy, dressed up as Annelique or something."

"When did you think *that?*" Ralier asked incredulously.

"I think it was right around thirty seconds before she got her tits out. After that I stopped caring," Winny answered.

"Well...there's that saying she keeps saying about angels. They always know how to make things right."

"That's just kind of a metaphor, though."

"No, I think they're actually sort of empaths...they can tell when you want something."

"I think you're thinking of succubi."

"Well, no, they MAKE you want things," Ralier said. "Usually things that will make you die. Angels figure out what you want and give you that instead. You know. Instead of eating you. Because they made you want them to eat you. Or something. Whatever. But I'm pretty sure angels can sense what you want."

"Hrm...I think I've heard of angels that do that, but the ones that do it are like an inch tall. They're called, like, berry angels or bopper angels or ferret angels or something..." Winny said.

"Cluvvr angelzz," Ishiar muttered.

"Oh yeah. Clover Angels. That's what it was," Winny said.

"What kind of angel is Annelique?" Ralier asked.

"D'no," Ishiar muttered. "B'def'n'lee not a cluv'r."

"Well, duh. What are the ones that want sex all the time?" Ralier said.

"Um...I think you're making that one up," Winny replied.

"No, there's, like...an angel for everything," Ralier said. "Angels who will let you eat them, angels who will have sex with you, angels who will murder anyone who even looks at you funny..."

"I think that one's made up too," Winny said.

"No, seriously. They're called razor angels. I think. They...um...do something that's...razor-ish." Ralier said.

"You're thinking of Blade Angels. And they just turn into metal or something."

"Maybe we should just ask her..." Ralier asked.

"Yeah."

"But I don't wanna get up."

"Don't worry, I got it covered," Winny said. She didn't get up either; she just took a deep breath before abruptly screaming "ANNELIIIIIIIIIQUE! WHAT KIND OF ANGEL ARE YOOOOUUUUUUUU!?"

There was a moment of silence.

"...Well, I'm out of ideas," Winny eventually said.

There was a knock at the door.

"Are you wearing clothes?" Winny called out.

Elvet's voice answered from behind the door. "Yes," she said.

"Eh, come on in anyway," Winny said.

The door opened slightly and Elvet quietly stepped in. Her eyes widened slightly. "Oh, I, um...hope I'm not interrupting anything."

"D'yu know wuh kinna angel Annuhleek iz?" Ishiar muttered into the bed.

"Uh, yes--I heard you yelling. I believe Annelique is a Daisy Angel."

"Do they go into heat, by any chance?" Winny asked.

"...No," Elvet replied, raising an eyebrow. "Was she involved in...?" she gestured around the room.

"Oooooh yeah," Winny replied. "She was *quite* involved in the festivities. In fact, she *was* the festivities."

Elvet looked around at the tornado-hit state of the room. "I see. It must have been quite...um...festive."

"It started out as just a cuddle..." Ralier said. "Sort of a group cuddle..."

"Oh boy, what a cuddle..." Winny said half-deliriously.

"Something about wanting to love all of us before we all got horribly killed like everybody else," Ralier said. "Was kind of awkward at first, actually. So I pretended like I was going to try to grope Winny to sort of break the tension."

"And...?"

"She looked at my hand for a sec, then looked away. I think it was on purpose."

"Yeah," Winny confessed.

"So I figured, what the hell, so I groped her," Ralier said. "Annelique was like 'Hey!' And Winny was like 'I'll show you,' and she shoves her hand down my bra and gives a big squeeze..."

"Yeah, and then you grabbed my hand and held it there," Winny said.

"Yeah, I did sort of do that...and then I sort of grabbed her wrist with my other hand to sort of make sure she couldn't pull it out..."

"And then I pointed out that she couldn't grope me if both her hands were pinning me down..." Winny said with a raised eyebrow.

"So I let go and groped her with *both* of my hands..." Ralier said.

"Then I was gonna do something similar, but Annelique got in the way, so I sort of half-groped her...then Ralier's like 'Hey, I'll show you!' and *full-on* gropes her..."

"And I don't remember exactly what happened after that, but everybody ended up with their hands clenched on everybody else's knockers..." Ralier said.

"Then Ralier says 'Well, if we're gonna have an orgy, I'm gonna go get Ishiar!'" Winny said. "So I turn to Annelique and say 'well, there's no stopping it now, may as well get my licks in before they get back and elbow me out of the action.'"

"Apparently one of them took that literally," Ralier said.

"I don't even remember which one of us it was," Winny said with a laugh, shaking her head and smiling. "All I remember is Annelique went from sweet, shy and pathetically virgin to fucking madwoman. And I mean literally."

"So I come back with Ishiar, who is kind of confused as to where I'm taking her, and Annelique is on top of Winny, practically raping her, looking like she's trying to get their hips to catch fire..."

"So she looks back and sees Ishiar and reverts to Shy Annelique for a second, and at that point I'm already into it, so I'm like 'I didn't say stop.'"

"And then she's like 'you two bitches, get over here,'" Ralier said. "Wait, was it Annelique who said that, or you?"

"I think it was...Actually, I think me and you both said it at some point," Winny replied.

"Well, I mostly said it to Ishiar, but that was later...she's really good at--" Ralier stopped, "--well, she knows what I like, let's just put it that way. I actually felt kind of bad, though, since she's so banged up from that fight..."

"S'bettr'n *not* hav'n sex..." Ishiar muttered.

"That's a relief. So yeah...uh...about how long would you say it was, Winny?" Ralier asked.

"Two hours...?" Winny said.

"Sounds about right. About two hours later, I'm exhausted, Ishiar is on the floor--"

"Because you gave her your stupid knockout honey..."

"ON ACCIDENT...believe me, I was the LAST person who wanted her to stop moving...but anyway...Winny's on the floor, beet red, wearing nothing but, like, a strap-on dagger..."

"Hee hee. Strap-on," Winny giggled.

"Panting like she's been in a marathon, with, like, everybody's honey all over her like some sort of Flesh Fane initiation ritual..."

"Now I can tell all my friends that I've had naga honey, angel honey and kari honey in my hair all at the same time," Winny said.

"And Annelique is like 'Okay, now I gotta go do everybody else,' and we're like...holy fucking shit, woman!"

"Yeah. I think she's banging Kaboom right now." Winny smiled. "Hee hee. 'Banging Kaboom.'" She started giggling maniacally. "Why does everything seem so funny right now?"

"Having your brains fucked to oblivion can make you sort of ditzy," Ralier said. "I'd know. Ishiar has conned me into all KINDS of bad judgement just by grabbing my tits."

"I...see." Elvet said. "Well, I'm glad I was able to answer your question...did you have any others?"

"Nah. But, um, if you want, I can probably get up now, so if you want some of this action..." Winny's arm twitched and moved up about four inches before stalling and eventually flopping back onto Ralier's body. "...Um, on second thought, you might want to give me an hour or so. Or maybe a week. Two weeks at most. Probably."

Elvet smiled. "That's alright. I would not want to strain you unduly. But I appreciate the offer."

"Any tiiiiimmmme..." Winny said, her voice eventually trailing off and turning into snoring. Elvet realized Ralier's head had drooped down onto the bed as well.

She quietly stepped out into the hallway and closed the door, smiling and shaking her head slightly at the absurdity of it all before resuming her course towards engineering.

Some two hours later, she was coming out of engineering again, only to have another, equally bizarre encounter.

Kaboom was lying on the floor in the middle of the hallway, looking as though she had collapsed. She had a piece of angel-feather stuck to the side of her mouth and another sticking out of her hair.

"...Are you alright?" Elvet asked quietly.

There was no answer.

Elvet bent down and nudged her gently on the shoulder.

Kaboom suddenly exploded off of the floor, screaming at the top of her lungs "DON'TTOUCHMYFUCKINGBRAIDSI'LLKILLYOUALLOFYOU--!!!"

In less than a second she was in a combat stance, standing on one foot, her eyes bolted open and her teeth bared, looking like she was about to claw somebody's eyeballs out.

"I...wasn't going to touch your braids," Elvet said.

Kaboom paused, looking around in confusion before turning to Elvet. "Oh. Hi. Um...what did I just say?"

"You asked me not to touch your braids. On pain of death."

"Ah," Kaboom nodded, slowly putting her leg and arms down. "That's pretty much what I usually say. Sorry about that." She suddenly seemed to notice there was angel feather on her lip amd blew it off with an abrupt *PBBFFBBT!*

"...By any chance, have you been with Annelique recently?" Elvet asked.

"You know about that, huh? Yeah...wow. Who would have thought. Sorry if we were too loud. And...um...I'll fix the bed. Oh, and sorry if I scared you coming off the floor there...I was on my way back to my room but didn't quite make it. And I don't usually sleep quite so...forcefully. I guess you could say I was doing it under duress."

"You mean sleeping?"

"Yeah. Annelique is..." Kaboom hesitated. "I'd say intense, but that just seems...inadequate. She's like...imagine I were to take a tripod-mounted alchemically-cooled machinegun with hyperballistic sabot rounds with hollowpoints on the end that also somehow manage to *EXPLODE*..." she stopped for a moment. "Actually, that gives me an idea...but anyways. Imagine she emptied an entire case of that shit into your groin, your pelvis, and both of your boobs, then tossed you into a rail tunnel and watched you get hit by a train several times. That's a little bit like what I feel like right now. And I feel a lot better than I did an hour ago. You know that godlike fate-mark thing? I think she was actually *using* that. For sex. On me. And it rocked. And then I couldn't stand up. And then later I could stand up, so I did, then I ran into the door. Then my memory stops somewhere around there," she said, pointing at the floor. "And now I can't quite remember where my quarters are. And I wish I was kidding." She reached up and rubbed her head with one of her hands.

"Well, I can show you to--"

She was interrupted as Annelique herself came running past them, awkwardly pulling her robe over her shoulder in a way that suggested she may not have been wearing it before she turned the corner.

"Hi Elvet! Hi Kaboom!" she said before turning the next corner, never even slowing down.

"Would it be inconsiderate of me to ask what she's doing?" Elvet asked.

"As far as I can tell, she's nailing everybody on the ship to the wall, one by one. Wait. No. That would imply she's only doing one at a time, which I don't think she is. If she spent half as much time on the others as she did on me, she must have been sexing up two or three people at once at some point, judging by how many people I've seen naked and unconscious or half-dressed and limping..."

"I think she started about four hours ago," Elvet said.

Kaboom stared at her. "...Wow. That's...holy crap. That means...wait. In that time she did me, Ralier, Winny, and Ishiar, at least. So unless she did them all really fast--"

"I believe the four of them were all...together."

"...I...you know, given the circumstances, I would have thought it impossible for me to feel gipped, but now I almost do."

"Perhaps you can convince them to do so again..."

"Oh God, not today..." Kaboom said. "I don't even want to *sit down,* let alone find out what she does when she's actually had a chance to warm up...but it'll be fun to see who she cripples next."

"One can only wonder."

"Well, there's also the process of elimination. If me, Ral, Win, and Ishie are all sexually crippled already, that leaves, what? You, Cassandra, Bee--wow, I'm not sure I even want to think about how much collateral damage *that* process is going to cause--then there's the new girl, Ishiar's mom..."

"Actually, she considers Ishiar to be *her* mother."

"Right. Her. What's her name? Lillith? Lily something? Lillyander?"

"Liliandra."

"Ah. I came closer than I thought I did. Not sure if they know each other well enough for L to be on her hit list, though."

"Were I to venture a guess, I would say that Annelique would choose her 'targets' not by who she wished to please, but who wished to be pleased."

"That would explain why she went for Ralier and Winny right off the bat. And at the same time. I've never seen two people who needed to get laid so bad in my life. Well, okay, that's a lie, I see people like that all the time. But still!"

Kaboom was about to go on, but she stopped for a moment. Peering at Elvet, she said "You look like you're thinking about something a lot more important than Annelique and her new rocket-hips. And at first glance that would seem impossible."

Elvet gave a faint smile. "It's just that you mentioned Cassandra..."

"...And? Is there something weird there I should know about?"

"I don't know. That's what I'm thinking about."

"You're wondering if Cassie will be capable of piloting the ship come this time tomorrow?"

"I am wondering if Annelique will offer...and whether Cassandra would accept. And what the consequences would be."

"I don't think Annelique is going to steal your job, if that's what you're worried about."

Elvet chuckled. "No."

"What is, then?"

Elvet's smile faded. "Hopefully nothing. In any case, I have faith that Annelique's heart is strong enough to handle anything Cassandra may throw at it."

"Unless it's her sword. I hear she is to killing people with swords what I am to killing people with guns. And to give you an idea, the place I used to live kicked me out for killing a ten-headed dragon that had been terrorizing the town because I killed it *too quickly.* Enough so that they decided I was actually more of a threat to their continued survival than it was. The second place I used to live, I was not allowed to *say* the word gun. They honestly thought I would bring the wrath of the technology goddess on me out of--and I'm not making this up--*jealousy.*"

"Well, as highly as I rate your abilities, I don't think you're at any risk of making the goddesses jealous."

"That's what I said; I said 'Look, there are two things that the goddesses aren't: spastic and insecure. If I was better than Technicia, I would have taken her job by now. And if she had performance anxiety, she never would have survived long enough to get into the pantheon in the first place. They would have eaten her alive. The Monster Goddess would chomp her ass in a second if she thought she could get anything but shot a billion times in the face."

Elvet's smile returned. "It sounds like you have a confident grasp on the ways of the higher powers, Kaboom."

Suddenly an unfamiliar voice came from a few cooridors away.

"HELP! ...I NEED SOMEBODY TO GET ME OFF THE FLOOR! ...AND BRING A TOWEL!"

Kaboom raised an eyebrow. "Sounds like Annelique just used a few of her own grasping powers again..."

Elvet's lips pursed into a bow. Before she could reply, Annelique came running down the hall again.

"Hi again!" she said as she sprinted past.

"Which one's next?" Kaboom called after her.

"Depends on who I find first!" Annelique yelled back as she turned the corner.

******

Eventually, even Annelique needed to sleep. She had been a bit shocked by her own behavior, but it seemed to get the point across. She thought maybe the more subtle parts--a bit more on the actual love side than the frenzied sex side--she could work on as time went by. For now, it was time to administer it to the one she still thought needed it most: Cassandra.

Strangely, Cassandra was not in her room. Annelique had figured she would be, especially with how exhausted and injured she looked when she had returned to the forest.

Deciding to postpone bedtime until she found her, she turned and headed for the next most likely place: her makeshift office.

There she found Cassandra sitting at her desk, a set of papers laid out in front of her, along with a plate of food that appeared untouched. Though her eyes were pointed at the papers in front of her, she didn't seem to actually be looking at them. All she seemed to be doing was idly fidgeting with a dagger, almost looking as though she was trying to clean her fingernails with it. Annelique noticed with alarm that it had blood on it; so did the papers in front of her. It had fallen in drops upon the parchments and remained there, untouched.

The source was both obvious and disturbing: there were dozens of tiny cuts all over Cassandra's hands. They criss-crossed her fingers as though she had been absent-mindedly using them to sharpen her dagger.

"Hi, Annie," Cassandra said, her voice not carrying any particular inflection. She didn't look up; she just twirled her dagger, causing a small point of blood to appear as it burrowed into her skin.

"Cass--Cassandra?" Annelique said pensively. "What are you doing?"

"Not much," Cassandra replied. "Too tired to do much."

"Then why aren't you sleeping?"

"I'm a bit too traumatized at the moment."

"Is that...did you cut yourself?"

Cassandra looked at her hands. "Looks like it."

"Did...you didn't do that on purpose, did you?"

Cassandra just looked up at her, like it was the stupidest question she'd ever been asked.

"I ask because...well...you're cut a lot," Annelique said awkwardly.

"I did just fight a pack of demons."

"But that's not where those came from."

Cassandra sighed. "Okay," she said simply.

"You're...I don't think you're okay, Cassie."

There was no reply at first. Annelique was silent for a moment. Eventually, Cassandra spoke.

"Like I said. I'm a bit fucked up right now," she said, her eyes once again affixing themselves to the desk.

"Is that why you're cutting yourself?"

Cassandra looked up, but her head remained bent down over the table. "To be honest, Annie, I'd prefer not to think about it."

"Why not?"

Cassandra looked down again. "Because I really doubt the answer will be anything healthy," she said.

Annelique suddenly wasn't feeling so healthy herself, and it had nothing to do with her body.

"Please come to bed," she said.

"Where you'll hug me and kiss me and try to make everything better?"

"Is that a bad thing?"

"A bad--!" Cassandra's head jerked up and she looked up at her like she had gone insane, but this only lasted a moment before she sighed and looked down again. "No, Annelique, trying to love people and make things better is not a bad thing."

"...But you don't want it."

Cassandra looked up at her. She suddenly seemed agitated, almost...angry. She simply looked at Annelique, constantly looking like she wanted to say something, but she never did.

"...Why don't you want it?" Annelique asked sadly.

Cassandra just kept looking at her. Finally, she huffed "I never should have even had it."

"Everyone deserves love."

Cassandra sighed, her tone almost annoyed. "Why?" she said.

"Why?" Annelique repeated. "How can..." she trailed off.

"You don't even know where to start," Cassandra said for her.

"Yeah!" Annelique said, as if it was obvious.

"Now you know a little bit about how I feel." Cassandra replied.

"No I don't!" Annelique said. "I don't know why you don't want love! I don't know why you don't want healing!"

"Don't you?"

"No! You led us to Eronmar, into the lion's den, willing to risk everything on some vague feeling I had, and now suddenly you don't want to eat and you don't want to sleep! You saved Ishiar's life, but now your hands are covered in your own blood! You've risked everything for us, even putting your ship on the line just to get us to Scyther! But every time you've helped us, you've seemed worse and worse! Why are you doing this to yourself? When I look at you, I get a feeling like I've been crushed under a rock! But I don't know why! How could you feel this way? Is it that you *didn't* betray us?"

Cassandra continued to look at her, but her expression had changed; it was no longer exhausted or angry. It seemed uncertain; as though she knew she had answers to give and was merely deciding whether she would.

Suddenly, Annelique realized that. She knew there was something Cassandra did not want to tell her--something she really, really didn't want her to know. But now she was thinking about telling her anyway.

Cassandra had proven herself enough times to have earned her trust. But if it wasn't something she did, what could it have been? Had someone else died? Had Admiral Kaleta abandoned their cause? Was Aerothi winning the war again? Had she already *won?*

Annelique realized something then. She hadn't exactly impressed anyone with her fortitude when she had fainted on the deck. She had practically even said that she couldn't handle any more. No more death, no more setbacks, no more cruel twists of fate. If Cassandra was hiding something from her, she was merely granting her wish, in a way.

"Okay..." she said pensively, "I...I think I may understand now. I guess I shouldn't be pressing you on this. Just...come to bed when you feel better, okay?"

"Okay."

Annelique turned and walked out, heading back towards their quarters.

Cassandra remained. When she spoke next, it was several minutes later.

"You do *not* understand, Annelique..." she said in a harsh whisper.

With a sudden jerk, she slashed her index finger open, causing a small river of blood to emerge.

"And you *shouldn't try.*"

Another sudden jerk--another cut, worse than before, running all the way down her palm. She scowled at nothing in particular as blood descended her palm and began to soak her sleeve. Then she looked at it, as if noticing it for the first time, and suddenly she wasn't scowling at nothing anymore.

"...And now I really am doing it on purpose..." she sighed before clenching her fist, ignoring the stinging pain of her self-inflicted wounds as she pounded her forehead in annoyance.

She thought about strange things. There were strange things she suddenly wanted to do. She thought about slamming her hands against the wall, staining them red with handprints. She thought about flinging her fingers around, spattering blood all over everything. She thought about clamping her fingers around her own hair until it's sheen was as bloody as they were. She thought about rolling up her sleeve and stabbing the underside of her forearm a few times, just for kicks. All of these things she wanted to do, but didn't. She didn't know where the ideas came from, but she knew they were damned stupid. She resented them--intensely--for even entering her mind.

Almost as intensely as she resented the split second a moment ago when she almost told Annelique the truth.

She stared angrily at her bloody fingers, now annoyed with herself that she had even thought about it. The whole thing was stupid. She'd practically had a breakdown. And she was rapidly deciding that breakdowns were not her style.

It was ironic, then, that the only thing it took to nearly cause another was the thought of sleeping. The thought of seeing Annelique's face.

She did sleep that night, but it was not in her quarters, and it was not until the next day had nearly dawned. It was with her face lying limp against her desk, one bloody hand clenching her hair, the other splayed out in a bloody handprint across the table. That image of herself was burned into her to the point that it was all she saw as she slept; she didn't even have enough left in her to have nightmares. Just a bloody, unchanging image of her own body hunched stiffly over the desk.

When she awoke, it was to the sensation of someone gently pulling her fingers away from her hair. It was a messy business--the blood had dried and stuck the hair follicles together, creating horrible tangles.

Cassandra looked up. It was Elvet.

"You must want to reveal your secrets pretty badly if this is how you hide them," she said.

Cassandra stood up. She looked at the bloody handprint she had left on the table and sighed quietly through her nose.

"You of all people should know I am quite capable of keeping secrets," she said as she tried to shake the encrusted blood off her hand. Her fingers stung with each swing.

"I said nothing of your capabilities. I only spoke of what you want." Elvet paused and fixed a steady gaze on Cassandra. "When Annelique is vexed by you, she often comes to me, burdened with confusion and worry. She does not understand your secrets. But I do."

Cassandra tried to rub the dried blood off of her hand. It clumped up into tiny rolls as she winced. She eventually deciding that trying to get the crap off that way would probably just make her start bleeding again.

She looked back up at Elvet, realizing she had no idea what she had just said. "What?" she asked.

Elvet looked tellingly at her hands for a moment. "An angel and a demon war for possession of your soul, and now it seems their battle has spilled out onto your body. You had best choose a side before one of them becomes so powerful that they no longer need you."

"Heh. An angel inside me. And to think, you're normally such a good judge of character," Cassandra said with a chuckle.

"She is *not* inside you," Elvet said simply. "The angel wears flesh and her name is Annelique. Will you allow the demon to emerge and defeat her?"

"I'm not going to hurt her."

"She is not fighting your demon to save herself, Cassandra. You know that."

"Well, unfortunately, if she thinks she can save my soul, I'm afraid she's out of her league," Cassandra said as she started to walk towards engineering.

"Is she?" Elvet said, only a step behind her. "She met the challenge in strength. She slowly placed you on the defensive. Inch by inch she drove you from your favored battlefields. Now you are faltering because she is assailing a fortress you thought you would never have to defend."

"I was right up until now," Cassandra muttered. "Why are you so interested in Annelique, anyway?" she said.

"This is a mission unlike any other we have faced, Cassandra. And she is unlike any 'client' you have ever dealt with."

She placed a firm hand on Cassandra's shoulder, stopping her. Cassandra turned around to face her with a slightly impatient look.

"Know this," Elvet said, locking her eyes on Cassandra's. "Your fortress is poorly guarded because you thought no one would ever reach it. Annelique's is poorly defended because she does not believe you would willingly attack it. But the demon that holds sanctuary within your fortress would see it burned to ash."

"The metaphors are getting a bit thick here, Elvet."

"Then I will speak plainly. Your recklessness is going to destroy her."

"And what recklessness would that be?"

"The assumption that she will not be harmed if she is not attacked directly is incorrect, Cassandra. Gairanda's death stings her. It would sting her even more if she did not take solace in the fact that you tried to save her."

Cassandra turned around to face her. Her eyes narrowed. Looking around to make sure no one was within earshot, she lowered her voice and said "don't be an idiot. You know damned well that I never tried to save her."

"I do," Elvet said, her own eyes narrowing in turn. "Annelique does not. That is the recklessness of which I speak. Her heart appears boundless in it's light, and it has endured much. But do not believe it is as immortal as her body. Her world can only be shattered so many times before she will shatter with it."

"So she might find out, and she'll hate me for it. How would that shatter her world?"

Elvet simply looked at her; an intense stare that seemed to last entirely longer than it should have.

"Well?" Cassandra said.

"She could not merely hate you and walk away. She has dedicated far too much of her heart to you."

"And who's fault is that?"

"She did choose to accept the risk. But that does not justify your actions. Losing her friend was *not* her choice. Nor were the circumstances surrounded it."

"Elvet, Gairanda was a fucking mindreader! What was I supposed to do?" Cassandra hissed. "Besides, you know this is the way we do business!"

"Make an exception," Elvet said. "You have always trusted my insight. Know that it tells me this: if Annelique is destroyed, you may be as well."

"Unlikely. I doubt Mnokugura can outrun the Starslicer, and I plan to make sure we use the stealth systems this time. I'm not about to make the same mistake twice. And if you mean I'll be destroyed emotionally, I think you forget who you're talking to. I don't *care* about Annelique."

"If you doubt my judgement, perhaps you should enlist a neutral third party. I would suggest a mirror, but any reflective surface would do."

"And what do you expect me to see, Elvet?"

"You are not the only one with eyes, Cassandra." She reached towards Cassandra's face and lifted a lock of her hair. It was stiff and stained with crimson. "This was not here when you returned from battle," she said. "And neither were these," she said as she lifted up Cassandra's wrist, showing her still-scarred fingers. "I know your body and spirit are battle-hardened enough to have healed these wounds a dozen times over. Already the combat wounds you had--the real source of which I prefer not to ponder--are all but gone." She waved her hands over the shredded and cut areas of Cassandra's armor. Of the injuries she had taken, only a handful of shallow scars and discolorations remained. Most had vanished entirely.

"What are you getting at?" Cassandra said.

Elvet took her red-hatched hand and held it right up in front of her face. "These wounds were inflicted by the battle within you, and that is why they do not heal," Elvet said. "That is why I know they can destroy you. It is not Annelique who has been caught in the crossfire between you and your demon. It is you who has been caught between *them.*"

"There is no *demon,* Elvet. There's just me. If that means I'm evil, then I guess I'm evil."

Elvet looked at her. Her expression almost looked like pity. After a moment, she simply turned around and started walked away.

"Elvet!" Cassandra said, moving forward and grabbing her shoulder. "What is the deal with you!? You've never acted this way before!"

Elvet stopped, cocking her head back towards Cassandra.

"You have never sunk this low before," she said.

She started walked away again. Cassandra dropped her hand and let her, gritting her teeth beneath a face that had turned red.

She momentarily resisted the urge to draw one of her daggers and stab it into the wall.

Then she did it anyway, burying it practically up to it's hilt.

It took her five tries to get it back out. When she finally did, she came within an inch of screaming as she realized her hand had started bleeding again.